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Ugh.

  • We welcome this new year with a bit of trepidation.
    • Cases are as bad as they've ever been in Duval County, rivaling the summer wave
    • But what took a month to achieve, this current wave took only a week.
    • So, we're likely going be buckling-up, and getting ready for the worst case wave yet of COVID.
  • And I'm feeling it this time around - maybe you are too
    • There's times when I feel like this should all be over by now. Haven't we done enough? People been hurt and sick enough?
    • It's hard to invite folks not to participate in person - what other sets of organizations built on community tell themselves that it's best to invite people not to participate fully?
    • And this week marks a couple dual anniversaries - for me personally, it's a year since the staff here had COVID (I'm still not 100%), and a year since the storming of the capital.
    • All this to say I don't feel the same excitement coming into today. It's always an interesting question... when we all come here, can we bring our off-days? Can clergy be worn down in the pulpit?
    • If I'm perfectly honest, this is the kind of day I don't sense God as much as I'd like.
  • This may be why John 1:18 was so striking the last couple weeks.
    • This isn't some sort of accidental translation error.
    • It's also not a verse, in the midst of big, beautiful John 1 we think about much, especially because it's a tapestry text for the church - we hear it a lot, and it settles on the walls of our hearts.
    • Right there, in writing - no one has ever seen God. We witness God through Jesus... but that's it.
    • So, I think from the outset, we can acknowledge that if you're not sensing God, it's no surprise, because it's not something that people can do.
  • Yet still, John develops this beautiful prologue about Jesus, Logos, with God throughout all time. You could almost entirely distill the entire gospel down to just these 18 verses.
    • But it isn't all sunshine and rainbows - we hear about darkness vs. light, a lack of acceptance... but in the end, the good prevails. AND, even in this midst of moments that seem lost, the end is grace - and grace upon grace.
    • This is the story we hear in Jeremiah
      • The end sounds beautiful - a banquet and bounty as people are gathered.
        • To be gathered, you had to have been scattered.
        • It wasn't all that great for the Israelites. And I wonder in the midst of the scattering, did people see God?
        • But they were brought back, consoled, and healed.
    • So even in the midst of not seeing God, there's some knowledge of resolve - of a happy ending. That knowledge is what keeps people moving through motions.
  • So what do we all do?
    • In these week-in-week-outs, one-offs should just be one-offs.
      • No one goes to hell based on a week of not being sure.
      • No one goes to hell because they say out loud they're not so sure about God.
      • In fact, if we take John seriously, we might be fooling ourselves if we think we see God the Father.
      • So yeah, if you have a lousy week or your burdened by the news and it all seems a little dark, you can feel safe to just acknowledge it.
    • But, over time, when it's time for a reboot, it may be looking for lights in darkness that, however dimly for us at any time, show us Jesus still at work in this world.
      • What if we all just went through the motions? We just said "yknow, I don't feel like it, but I'm going to love God as much as I can offer and my neighbor as myself."
      • Those motions become sparks of light for others. And in the darkest pitch black moments, even the dimmest, briefest spark is noticeable.
      • And lots of little dim sparks become greater and greater light.
      • As as the dim lights become brighter, maybe we see a happy ending down the road. Maybe we see being gathered, and it's not just an abstract knowledge but something to mark.